Wargamer's meme

There's a meme going around the various wargames blogs right now, called Are you a proper wargamer? Naturally I couldn't resist the test. So, am I a proper wargamer, or am I just some common shopaholic that just poses as a wargamer to disguise my real problem?

Proper terms are important.

To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following;
- Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for every £500 you've spent.
Um... £500 is about my yearly budget. And I have been wargaming for 29 years or so. Not that I do have a strict budget that I adhere to but I do try to keep my spendings within realistic bounds. Of course, in the beginning my spendings were more modest, but on the other hand I frequently over-spend on miniatures. So I think that's a yes...

- Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block - several times.
Well... I don't have any pike blocks. But I have pricked a finger on the Warhammer 4th edition goblin spearmen, which had insanely sharp plastic spears. Several times.

- Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again.
Yes, although sometimes it's enough to just read the rules to realise they are bad.

- Bought an army off EBay
Well... not whole armies. But units and figures yes.

- Sold an army on EBay
As above: not a whole army, but units yes. And I have sold armies to friends IRL.

- spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once.
Not sure what using it in anger means. But spending months painting an army, using it once and then never more, yes. There are these Armourfast T34's that I spent far too much time detailing them and adding Preiser multipart tank riders to, that I used in one game and never more, because eastern front isn't really my cup of tea...

- tried several different periods and genres
Yep. WW2, WW1, ACW, Ancients, Wild West, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, large-scale, skirmish scale, boats, planes, armoured cars. Only thing I haven't tried is Napoleonics, because I find the whole thing very boring.

- dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height
Yep. Open box even...

- lost a battle on the last throw of the dice
Oh yes... "anything but snake eyes" are words that one shouldn't say during a game.

- made at least one enemy for life
No... don't think so. There are people I have played that I have woved never to play again, but I wouldn't go so far as calling them enemies for life. They were just unpleasant and best avoided.

- had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table
Yep. With an adult father in front of his son, in a game of Warhammer. And to just to be clear; he did abuse the rules on purpose so I had to challenge him on it.

- thrown a dice across a room
Nope. And not any miniatures either (although an opponent did once).

- rebased an army for a different rule set
Yes, but I hate rebasing. Nowadays I'd rather buy new figures than rebase.

- inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponentYes. But not as often as the other way around to be honest.

- suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision
Yes...

- joined a wargamers club
Yes. Several.

- bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
*cough* 
Who told you?

- been to a wargamers show
Yes. Only in Sweden though, I would love to go to Salute some day.

- have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them
What can I say, I like dice. I have big cookie jar full of them.

- have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates
Guilty.